CAROUSEL

Tonight, on a whim, I thumbed my nose at the world and defiantly planted a flag of conquest! Conquest over the notion that some things are just not my age to do. I rode a painted pony on a carousel at the shopping mall.

Yep, I jumped into the saddle like a pro, wearing my dark Kasper pantsuit, freshly trimmed silver hair and fabulous jewelry and grabbed the pole that kept my horsey in check like my life depended on it. Quite a sight, I imagine, but I really didn't care. I smiled as the horse pranced its paces through the musicbox songs, and sat with my back straight and flashed a great smile!

Every now and then we need a literal return to innocence, I think, otherwise we might become jaded, or stuck in our thinking.

The music slowed down and the carousel lady asked in a kind voice, "Did you have a good time?" I said, "Yes, every minute of it," and sashayed away.

All a part of getting ready for the next phase of my life...

Stages of We

When you're in your 20s, childhood issues are annoyances you stash away and try not to think about or talk about.

When you're in your 30s, childhood issues become more painful and you start to realize you can't carry them around anymore without doing something. So you start to verbalize. The low side is that you can also start to act out from the pain you're feeling. This is a fragile time.

When you're in your 40s, you get help.

What happens next I don't quite know, but maybe somebody who's ahead of me on this curve can tell me? I want to think by the time I get to my 50s I will have processed it all and found a stable and profoundly healed and healing place. I think that's what God wants for all of us.

We weren't designed to lug our emotional baggage through life. Too hard.